She's a free bitch, baby

Some of you may be wondering what I've been doing since my last post. Well, I'll tell you. During commercials of the vomit-inducing season finale of The Bachelor, I've been watching every related video (244 uploads to be exact) from my new friend Avery.

Sadly there are no effects quite like we saw in Ke$ha's TiK ToK but don't worry; there are ample props and stellar acting. Here are two of my favorite:

Warning: There is a horrifying moment around the :22 second mark. Just sayin...

She shouldn't have given me Cute Guy's number. We've been texting all night.

She is precious. I want to carry her and her 12 fingers around with me in my pocket.