"New Moon" takes on a whole new meaning

I decided to tap into my high school self and watch the MTV Movie Awards tonight. It was probably the most painfully awkward show I've watched since To Catch a Predator but it did have it's moments. And there was minimal child molestation involved so that's always a plus. Here are some highlights I'd like to discuss:

I would give up Christ for Andy Samberg. You know, if he asked, not just for kicks.

R. Patts- Easy on the eyes and ears.

Megan Fox makes me proud to be a brunette. I would fight Decepticons if it meant that I could transform into Megan Fox. 

Eminem can dish it out but apparently can't take balls in the face from a pants-less gay guy suspended from the ceiling wearing angel wings. Go figure. 

In response to @cloverland, yes Kristen Stewart is definitely "punchable". I've never seen someone try so hard to be cool by rebelling since me, sophomore year of high school. Except I wasn't making out with vampires so she wins back some cool points. I guess. 

The Kings of Leon never fail to impress. I'm convinced they are the only band ever to not have a token ugly guy. 

There was a lot more interesting stuff that went on like being introduced to Denzel Washington's daughter who looks like a sheep dog and Ashley Tisdale actually winning an award but I don't give enough of a shit to write about it. 

On a non-related note, I think my blood is turning into red wine.